( no change. it's disappointing but not surprising. he'd passed by other beds, people in a similar state.
he tells himself that the rubeans aren't behaving like this is an end. that that means something; that a solution is inevitable. which means he won't let any of his unease show. )
Should we see if there's room in the boarding house?
( it's not a long walk back to the cabin, but the boarding house means murphy can be back at the clinic earlier, before he heads to work in the morning. )
[She'd be confused, why she was at the clinic rather than at home. Wouldn't know what had happened, to her or in general, Felipe and all the bullshit around that. He scrubs a hand over his mouth, fights back a yawn. Whatever catnap he's gotten hasn't done much, but he can function on far less sleep than this.]
( it's no hardship for him and it's unlikely that he's going to get much sleep anyway. too much to think about, up to and including just who the fuck is skulking around the cabin in addition to felipe.
so, a second chair is fetched and he eases into it, prepared for a long night ahead. after a brief pause, he reaches over to take murphy's hand, intertwining their fingers. )
[The touch is welcome. Needed, even. For a moment Murphy just looks down at their interlinked hands, running his thumb over Aristaeus' knuckles. It's only a small comfort, a small piece of warmth, and he suddenly feels like he should've agreed to the boarding house, to at least being able to climb into bed with Aristaeus, tangle up with him properly. But it would still feel wrong without Mavis, knowing that they'd left her here, alone.
He sighs, soft. Shifts to lean into Aristaeus, as comfortable as possible in two clinic chairs and the chill of Mavis' absence. He might fall asleep again, as much as he doesn't want to.]
( This happens in the Nest. ) [Threaded low between them, as soft as if he was speaking out loud, hushed.] ( Sometimes we just... go to sleep. Don't wake up.)
[This, the root of the fear he feels when he looks at Mavis. The pain, the emptiness where his broodmates should be.]
( They think it might be something to do with the symbiote, with integration, but no one really knows what causes it. And they're just gone. You can't reach them or feel them anymore. Like they're dead. )
(It happens the same way for us, ocassionally. Especially when we draw on too much power at once.) ( you grow up in the shadow of that fear in kossos, of the day you hit your wall and buckle.
aristaeus watches mavis, now. lingers on her face. remembers the day they first met, amidst the fires of the kuruko camp. how she'd fought him, then. how she hadn't stopped since. ) (She's different, though. Stronger. And so fucking stubborn. If there's a way back from this, she'll find it.)
[The information that something similar could happen to Aristaeus might normally have Murphy considering it as a hivemind thing. A common failing of the system, another con to sit with the rest. In the moment, though, it just makes his grip tighten on Aristaeus' hand, an unthinking gesture born from the ache the idea had pressed into what was already an open wound. Don't go. Don't leave me, too.]
( I'm kind of crap at hope. )
[As dull as any such admission could be. Watching Mavis too. Hearing what Aristaeus says, knowing it's true, wanting Mavis back and awake, and still, still not able to believe.]
( he catches the tail end of the thought, the desperation of it prompting him to turn and regard murphy again. to linger on his face a moment.
what could he say to that? to any of it? despite what they thought, he'd never been the talker, had stepped awkwardly into the role because mavis had been more comfortable with silence and someone had to fill the space. mavis would know what to do now, he can't help but think. even without the words, she'd know how to restore murphy's belief. )
Then don't hope, trust. She loves you too much to leave you behind.
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he tells himself that the rubeans aren't behaving like this is an end. that that means something; that a solution is inevitable. which means he won't let any of his unease show. )
Should we see if there's room in the boarding house?
( it's not a long walk back to the cabin, but the boarding house means murphy can be back at the clinic earlier, before he heads to work in the morning. )
no subject
One of us should be here if she wakes up.
[She'd be confused, why she was at the clinic rather than at home. Wouldn't know what had happened, to her or in general, Felipe and all the bullshit around that. He scrubs a hand over his mouth, fights back a yawn. Whatever catnap he's gotten hasn't done much, but he can function on far less sleep than this.]
no subject
( it's no hardship for him and it's unlikely that he's going to get much sleep anyway. too much to think about, up to and including just who the fuck is skulking around the cabin in addition to felipe.
so, a second chair is fetched and he eases into it, prepared for a long night ahead. after a brief pause, he reaches over to take murphy's hand, intertwining their fingers. )
I'll wake you if anything changes.
no subject
He sighs, soft. Shifts to lean into Aristaeus, as comfortable as possible in two clinic chairs and the chill of Mavis' absence. He might fall asleep again, as much as he doesn't want to.]
( This happens in the Nest. ) [Threaded low between them, as soft as if he was speaking out loud, hushed.] ( Sometimes we just... go to sleep. Don't wake up.)
[This, the root of the fear he feels when he looks at Mavis. The pain, the emptiness where his broodmates should be.]
( They think it might be something to do with the symbiote, with integration, but no one really knows what causes it. And they're just gone. You can't reach them or feel them anymore. Like they're dead. )
no subject
aristaeus watches mavis, now. lingers on her face. remembers the day they first met, amidst the fires of the kuruko camp. how she'd fought him, then. how she hadn't stopped since. ) ( She's different, though. Stronger. And so fucking stubborn. If there's a way back from this, she'll find it. )
no subject
( I'm kind of crap at hope. )
[As dull as any such admission could be. Watching Mavis too. Hearing what Aristaeus says, knowing it's true, wanting Mavis back and awake, and still, still not able to believe.]
no subject
what could he say to that? to any of it? despite what they thought, he'd never been the talker, had stepped awkwardly into the role because mavis had been more comfortable with silence and someone had to fill the space. mavis would know what to do now, he can't help but think. even without the words, she'd know how to restore murphy's belief. )
Then don't hope, trust. She loves you too much to leave you behind.