saltburnt inbox | @murphy

[wrackful]

WELCOME TO THE SALTBURNT NETWORK

USERNAME:
murphy

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Comments

[kobes]

"Set up" makes it sound like I'm trying to trick you. In a bad way.
So...no?

[wrackful]

So you accidentally sent me a test photo, that you meant to send yourself, and that just happened to turn into this chat with you wanting to try pegging me.

[kobes]

When you say it that way, it sounds improbable.

Maybe I was thinking about it anyway, and I happened to text you. Maybe that was part of why I tried all this on, to think about it. Is that so hard to believe?

[wrackful]

Yeah, Koby. You never said anything. We haven't done anything. And you've got people. Better people. Why the hell would you be thinking about me?

[kobes]

Because I like you.

And I haven't said anything yet because there's been a lot going on. I sort of didn't think about that kind of thing for a few months.
But now I am.
And I like you.

[wrackful]

[He feels stupid. For suspecting Koby, Koby who he can't imagine trying to trick someone like that in a million years. For still doubting Koby, wanting to tell him no, you don't, you don't even know me. For twisting himself around, deleting the picture, the whole conversation.

For doing all of that, and still getting stuck on three little words like a kid.]

Okay. Sorry.

[He can practically hear Danny saying something about his paranoia, again.]

Just kind of blind sided me. Need to get my head around it.

[kobes]

[ah. murphy says it kindly, thoughtfully, but that venomous thing inside koby hisses stupid, stupid and he sits up, shoulders scrunching against what comes next, the familiar wave of self-loathing, of hatred for every scrawny, delusional, ridiculous inch of himself. what were you thinking, it growls, it snarls, even as he's typing:]

Of course, that makes perfect sense.

[he doesn't want you.]

Take as much time as you need, absolutely.

[why would you think that he did?]